Are you aware that
Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan ?
Read on. (pretty funny and accurate)
1. If you consider it a sport to gather
your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day
hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan .
2. If you're proud that your region makes the
national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in
the nation, you might live in Michigan .
3. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
November through March, you might live in Michigan .
4. If you instinctively walk like a penguin
for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan .
5. If someone in a store offers you
assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan .
6. If your dad's suntan stops at a line
curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan .
7. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the
same time, you might live in Michigan .
8. If your town has an equal number of bars
and churches, you might live in Michigan .
9. If you have had a lengthy telephone
conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan
.
Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANDER
when . . .
1. "Vacation" means going up north
on I-75
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer
more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to
"A/C" in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social
events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house
and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and
your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to
fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because
the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost
winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern or
eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a
statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a
legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Ohio .
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate
his new pole barn.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors
due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower
than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little
chilly."
22. You drink pop and bake with soda.
23. Your doctor tells you to drink
Vernors and you know it's not medicine.
24. You can actually drink Vernors without
coughing.
25. You know what a Yooper is.
26. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.
27. You know that UP is a place, not a
direction.
28. You know it's possible to live in a
thumb.
29. You understand that when visiting Detroit
, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.
30. You actually understand these jokes, and
you forward them to all your Michigan friends
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